Badass Brain Protection


I once owned a pair of Doc Martens, and they were seriously bitchin . . . except that they were lilac. My high school bedroom boasted a white eyelet canopy and bubblegum-colored walls . . . pasted over with pictures of Kurt Cobain. I love me a little girliness, but only when it’s got some badass, too. So to harden the pastel sweetness of my terribly feminine cream-colored Bianchi Cortina bike with its pretty pink basket, I picked up this helmet:


Baby MoFo’s cute keppy with my hardcore helmet

Strangely, I now give off the wrong impression when I walk into class with it. . . which might not be the worst thing.

Eying my head candy, a student asked one day: “Hey, do you snowboard?”

Me: “Nah . . . this is just for my bike.”

Another day, another student asked: “Hey, do you have a vespa?”

Me: “I wish!”

And today, a third: “Oh, wow. Do you drive a motorcycle?”

Me: “Goodness, no! I mean . . . just a little pink vespa.”

Student: “Cool!”


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