Here are the top 5 nuggets from this week:
1. The laughing baby whose video has gone viral . . . WHAT was so damn funny?
Ah, of course, it was an academic job rejection letter getting ripped up. Dad is getting his PhD in the Humanities, so he’s got a whole barrel full of rejection letters, no doubt.
Note to self: Hours of entertainment for Baby MoFo that I don’t have to buy, create, or work very hard on at all–letters of this nature show up every day.
To be honest, though, a number of them are showing up on email, which is good for the environment, and bad for Baby MoFo.
Note to schools sending them by email: I appreciate your saving the environment, but that doesn’t mean you have to go overboard with the rejection letters and send me multiple emails with the same stock statements: “The competition was extremely keen, and we had to set aside the candidacy of a number of excellent young scholars” (assuming I’m young), or “As we are only able to invite a very small number of candidates for on-campus interviews, we are excluding many attractive candidates at this point, you among them” (why, thank you! I am quite attractive). There’s a point in which you are simply hitting me over the head with your rejection. As in, “If you missed our point the first time, WE. DON’T. WANT. YOU.” Got it! I will go back to the troll-hole where I came from. And speaking of Charlie . . .
2. “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
This week has been the Charlie week.
Is Sheen a crazy cokehead? Yes. Is Sheen an anti-Semite? The New York Times suggested the answer is yes while pointing out that calling Chuck Lorre by his Hebrew/birth name is a little ironic considering that the moniker “Charlie Sheen” is a nice little business of Americanization as well: “[Sheen] also repeatedly called Mr. Lorre by the name Chaim Levine, which executives from both CBS and Warner Brothers interpreted as a veiled anti-Semitic attack. Mr. Sheen was also criticized on Friday by the Anti-Defamation League for those comments. (The comments probably went back to a mention Mr. Lorre himself once included on the show, where he called himself Chaim Levine. That is his Hebrew name. He was born Charles Levine. Mr. Sheen also goes by another name. He was born Carlos Estevez.)
3. It was quite a week for anti-Semites. We had Carlos Estevez ranting about Chaim Levine, and we had John Galliano professing his love for Hitler. Thank you, Natalie Portman, you beautiful, talented, Harvard-educated resplendent-with-pregnancy scientist-actress for standing up to him. Why are Jews even interesting??? I am fond of Jeffrey Goldberg’s article, entitled: “Jews, Jews, Jews, Jews, Jews!” As he puts it, “It is very exciting to be a part of so many different fantasies.”
4. It was Dr. Seuss’s birthday this week! We made him a cake and we ate it ourselves since he’s dead anyway, as LL pointed out. We also read a lot of his stories. Do you know “Too Many Daves”? If not, here’s a refresher:
Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave
Had twenty-three sons and she named them all Dave?
Well, she did. And that wasn’t a smart thing to do.
You see, when she wants one and calls out, “Yoo-Hoo!
Come into the house, Dave!” she doesn’t get ONE.
All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run!
This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves’
As you can imagine, with so many Daves.
And often she wishes that, when they were born,
She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn
And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm.
And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim.
And one of them Shadrack. And one of them Blinkey.
And one of them Stuffy. And one of them Stinkey.
Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face.
Another one Marvin O’Gravel Balloon Face.
And one of them Ziggy. And one Soggy Muff.
One Buffalo Bill. And one Biffalo Buff.
And one of them Sneepy. And one Weepy Weed.
And one Paris Garters. And one Harris Tweed.
And one of them Sir Michael Carmichael Zutt
And one of them Oliver Boliver Butt
And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate…
But she didn’t do it. And now it’s too late.
Oh, Theo. You had me at “soggy muff.”
5. Last but not least, a bit of news from my home and native land: The personality-less PM has decided he can create a cult of personality by naming the government after himself. Yes, Harper has officially renamed the Government of Canada the Harper Government, and Canadians now have a taste of North Korean life:
At least I know my taxes are going to a good cause.
Runner up: Gaddafi dances to Zenga Zenga: